For decades, self-help books and therapists have advised couples that the key to a successful relationship is sex…and plenty of it.
But a new study suggests that behind closed doors, the happiest partners are actually making love just once a week.
According to the University of Toronto-Mississauga more frequent attempts at copulation will not boost satisfaction or well-being.
"People often think that more money and more sex equal more happiness, but this is only true up to a point"
Dr Amy Muise, University of Toronto-Mississauga
The study was based on questionnaires filled in by 30,000 Americans over more than 30 years.
“I think the take-home message is that in general it is important to maintain a sexual connection with a romantic partner, but it is also important to have realistic expectations for one's sex life, given that many couples are busy with work and family responsibilities,” said psychologist Dr Amy Muise, who led the research.
“Our research suggests that having more frequent sex in relationships is associated with greater happiness, but this is only true up to once a week, having sex more frequently is no longer associated with greater well-being.
“Therefore, is not necessary, on average, for couples to aim to engage in sex as frequently as possible.”
The study established that people in a relationship tend to have sex about once a week on average. For couples, happiness tended to increase with more frequent sex, but this plateaued at weekly sex.
Despite common stereotypes that men want more sex and older people have less sex, there actually was no difference in the findings based on gender, age or length of relationship.
"Our findings were consistent for men and women, younger and older people, and couples who had been married for a few years or decades," added Dr Muise.
Relationship expert Tracey Cox said the research would leave most couples breathing a sigh of relief
"Sex is important in relationships for bonding and feeling that your partner still fancies you, but having sex once a week is a realistic and achievable goal for busy people," she said.
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